Glass Onion

Like the rest of the Killing Time Alliance, sapphire, emerald and myself decided to take a bit of relaxation time following the epic confrontation with the Terrible Zodin I described earlier. For this reason, I set course for what was then called Sullivan Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, 12 July, 1989. We did this because I was in the mood to see a performance by the Terran rock and roll musical group called The Who.

I will now give any and all Time Lords and Ladies reading the following caveat:

DO NOT EVER ATTEMPT TO MATERIALIZE A GALLIFREYAN TIME TRAVEL CAPSULE AT A ROCK AND ROLL SHOW. EVER!

Upon materialization, during the performance of a song entitled Pinball Wizard, my TARDIS chose to engage the chameleon circuit based on, not just the physical surroundings, but the overwhelming local mind set, and, therefore, materialized on the edge of the stage in the form of a rather large silver ball.

This would not have been an issue, as, it did, in fact, fit in well with the surroundings, however, those in the audience with front row seating witnessed the materialization and believed my TTC was, in fact, a part of the show.

A rather enthusiastic audience member grabbed my TARDIS and began to toss it around the crowd, thinking it was a pinball prop.

This carried on for approximately half an hour, all the while, sapphire, emerald and myself were tossed about the interior like rag-dolls, bouncing off walls, pillars, console controls and the like. The word "pain" would hardly do it justice. (looking back, I'm honestly surprised I didn't regenerate at least half a dozen times).

Eventually, clearly annoyed at being manhandled, my TARDIS dematerialized and headed for Bruce.


Upon arrival, we met a clearly annoyed Tristan and Skippy, a thoroughly irritated Rowan, a highly confused and agitated Lestor and Quantie, and a terrifying, yet smiling Sabrae.

After comparing notes, Tristan went about making repairs to his capsule, Lestor recruited Rowan in an attempt (which ultimately proved not just futile, but also hallucinatory) to make sense of Shirley, and Sabrae enjoyed some coffee and time with KJ, attempting to have a rational discourse with him and teaching him to use a hang-glider. That left sapphire, emerald and myself to attempt to repair/heal Rowan's rescued robotic life-form.

We brought it into my TARDIS' labs to try and get reading on it. This proved difficult, as it was, apparently, somewhat of a shape-shifter, as well as being artificial. After several attempts, I finally had it convinced there was nothing sexually perverse about the probes and scans I was attempting.

Much of its memory had been damaged, and it provided no information as to its purpose, history, point of origin or species/creators.

In fact, all it was able to provide us with was the knowledge that "Sea Monkeys" were nothing more than brine shrimp. This information, it seems, took over a century of research for it to conclude.

We managed to get the little robot to interface with the TARDIS, which, in turn, caused the TARDIS to synthesize and install/replace any missing or damaged components, eventually bringing it back to full functionality...

Minus the memory.

The tiny robot sprung from the table, whizzing about through the air in a form somewhat resembling the head of a six-eyed Smuth from Talgont V, except with  dreadlocks, laughing and spinning about. It shot out the main doors of my capsule and flew about to each member of Killing Time before coming back to us, then looking at both sapphire and emerald, purring. Then it came to me.

"Hi, boss! I'm Bob!" It said in a mechanically cheery tone, "Happy to be here! Can I have some cheese?"

"Ummm... sure?" I said, producing a bit of Roquefort from my pocket, which Bob picked up with its...his dreadlocks, and proceeded to toy with. curiously.

"Great! Uhhh.... Now what the Belgium do I do with this?" Bob asked a bit perplexed.

Before we could answer him, the air was filled with the sound of a TARDIS materializing, though it was somewhat...different.

There really is not an accurate way to describe how this was different. Even Rowan was at a loss. About the best way I can explain it is that the materializing TARDIS sounded...REALLY happy.

"Ooooo..." Bob chimed in, "This is new!"

A few meters from our gathered location, a strange form materialized. It appeared to be a very surreal representation of a Terran submarine.

But it was yellow.

A hatch in the side opened and out walked a woman.

She was blonde, bespectacled and dressed in trousers, a shirt and a white vest and panama hat.

And she completely ignored all of us...

Except Lestor.

This strange woman walked straight up to Lestor, smiled and kissed him in a way I can best describe as an attempt to eat his face.

After the passage of a full five minutes, she stopped, looked him in the eye, and smiled.

"Hello, Angel. Miss me?" She asked.

Lestor, for his part, stammered briefly, then lost track of his mind for a moment.