Saturday, September 1, 2012

With a Little Help From My Friends

"Uhhhhh.... Have we met?" Lestor finally stammer out after a prolonged bout of confused madness.

"Of COURSE we have, Angel," The strange blonde woman said through an amused smile, "We've known each other for YEARS!"

Lestor stared another moment, somewhat ignoring the pummeling of his arm which was being perpetrated by Kahndee, before speaking again.

"I... would think I'd remember you."

There was a sudden look of realization on the woman's face.

"You... haven't been to Punta 3 yet, have you?" She asked, slight disappointment tinting her voice.

"I've never even heard of it."

"Right. Okay. At some point, you're going to travel there and you're going to meet me...uhhh... again. So, anyway...Wow, this is a little awkward... I'm Gothess, but you can call me Gothess. I know the rest of you, as well, so that will save time. So, I suppose introductions on our part would be in order, but let me check something, first. JULIO! YOU IN THERE?" The woman shouted toward Lestor's TTC.

With that, the penguin in the panama hat waddled out of Shirley, the coolant hoses Lestor had pinched from the Jupiter 2 tucked under his left flipper.

"Ja! I'm here! Gotten der hoses, too," The penguin said excitedly in a perfect mock-German accent.

"Good. Put those in the ship and I'll try to explain us to these fine people."

With that, the penguin waddled off into the yellow submarine and Gothess began her story.

"Right. So, you're all wondering who I am. Like I said, I'm Gothess. I'm a Clockwork from Saga City in the Obverse. I was, actually, one of the Great Aunties.... Ummm... Right, you don't know the Obverse and its politics yet... A member of the ruling council. So, there we were, preserving the balance of the multiverse, maintaining order and harmony and generally being pretentous and dull. One day, one of the other Clockworks stole The Bus and took off. Iris Wildthyme, as she was calling herself, decided to leg it because she was bored. Can't say I blame her there.

"So the Great Aunties held a vote and decided to try and stop her and bring her back to the Obverse. I found that a stupid, parlimentary bit of silliness and stole the other prototype Bus to come here. Mainly because Iris had, when she stole The Bus, taken with it the greatest treasure in the Obverse: The Mighty Xylaphone of Wendy... a nearly holy artifact."

"So you wanted to get it back for your people?" sapphire inquired.

"Oh, hells, no! If anyone was going to pawn it for cash, it was going to be ME!

"So, after I sold the Xylaphone, I decided to stay here. I bought me TARDIS, spent a bit of time in Liverpool in the 1960s with four lovely lads who were playing music. I introduced them to Saga City Flame Herb.

"Funny thing about Saga City Flame Herb: It's very relaxing to Clockworks. In Terran's, though, it produces wild hallucinations and mild psychic abilities. Both powerful enough to let them break my chameleon circuit. Now it's stuck as this bloody yellow submarine.

"Anyway, after traveling with them and doing a bit of smuggling to make ends meet, I see this Penguin on a planet named Wendell. Lovely little bugger. Cute hat. Strange tendency to jump accents. I digress.

"So this penguin, Julio, tells me I need to prevent a fixed point in time and only I can do it. I need to unravel established history to stop the canonization of Interstellar Pope Hasslehoff the First.

"So, we've been travelling. Met some interesting people, Turned Mussolini from discovering beat poetry. Got sued by Iris over the Xylaphone thing. Met you folks. Had some adventures. Spent some time with Lestor. Had some sweattier adventures. Got seperated from Julio and tracked him here. Any questions?'

"Yes!" Bob chimed in.

"What's that, then?"

"Can I have a banana?"

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