Friday, August 17, 2012

A Life In The Day

While Tristan and Skippy were fleeing their polyvinyl foes, Lestor and Susan (pronounced KAN-dee) had just purchased a new Time Travel Capsule. She was a rare and expensive Type 110.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Type 110 Gallifreyan TTC, there are a few features you should be made aware of...

First, as of the Type 106, TARDISes had become not just artificially intelligent, but actually FULLY SENTIENT, which allowed them to pilot themselves, communicate with their Time Lord pilots with ease, make snap decisions on their own, and, in many cases, run up tremendously large sub-etha bills communicating vast distances in time and space with other TARDISes, gossiping about their Time Lord pilots.

That said, the new Type 110 took that concept a quantum super-leap forward, granting the TTC not just full sentience, but a complete personailty, allowing the TARDIS to become a complete companion...

At least, this was the intended design.

In point of fact, the Type 110 had a personailty flaw in its psychic interface causing it to, once telepathically bonded to its Time Lord pilot, pull its personailty from the memories of said Time Lord, generally transfixing on and modling herself after the most pronounced figure from the Time Lord's memory.

Also, all Type 110s were female.

Anxious to try out his new TT Capsule, Lestor rushed teh telepathic interface, then attempted to manually set the trans-temporal coodinates to return to Bruce. This attempt was met with a rather frantic cry.

"Don't touch me there!" the voice a young girl issued from somewhere in the console. In shock, Quahndih, who was ducked under the console, performing some...routine maintenance...was greatly startled, jumping up, hitting her head and causing Lestor to howl a bit in pain.

After the situation calmed down, Lestor tried again to set the coordinates.

"I said 'No!' MOMMYY!!!!! Mr. Magic Space-man is doing it wrong!"

The utterance of that name caused both of Lestor's hearts to stop momentarily.

"Irwin?" He said, VERY hesitantly.

"No, Mr. Magic Space-man!" The voice repeated, giggling.

Suddenly, a beam of light shot from a control on the console and the hologrammatic image of a 12 year old Terran girl coaleced.

"I'm Shirley!" the ghost-like girl said cheerily. "I'm your TARDIS, Mr. Magic Space-man!"

Kaundee began to laugh, perhaps having finally snapped and danced merrily into the real of the mind I like to call "Not as sane as a rabid badger".

It is also at this time that the interior of...Shirley...reconfigured herself to resemble a planet-sized amusement park, meaning that, in order to get ANYWHERE inside, one had to purchase a ticket, fight crowds of irate hologrammatic tourists, and, more often then not, wait in queue to get on the amusement ride which took you where you wanted to go, only to find it out of service once one got to the head of the queue.

Twenty-six relative years of non-time later, Lestor finally convinced Shirley to materialize.

She did so on a dwarf-size planet on the far side of Kasterborous. He disembarked to try to get his trans-temporal bearings and to determine how to best convince Shirley to return to Bruce.

Finally, after a few moments, he regained his mental footing, so to speak, and re-entered Shirley (NOTE: The previous statement is meant to be taken innocently, as this is a family friendly story)

"Shirley, you want to see a mermaid?"

And with that, Shirley dematerialized and brought Lestor and Ckannnnndie to Bruce.

None of them noticed the Panama-hat wearing penguin who had snuck aboard and was now watching them from the shadows...

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