After the events of the lawsuit ended, we all adjourned into my Time Travel Capsule in celebration on our return to Bruce. Even Rowan, who, at this point, we weren't QUITE ready to trust (and who possessed her own TTC) joined us, though she insisted we...INVITE...her TARDIS along.
I set the coordinates for Bruce on the console with a time-differential, allowing a simulated week for the trip, and we all adjourned to my pub. Surprisingly, tending bar was a familiar, fez-adorned Terran marsupial.
Of course, we asked where he had gone prior to the events on New Gallifrey. His only response was that he "didn't do the legal thing".
And so, we drank Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, lost track of (and, potentially ALTERED reality) and eventually. passed out (or, to be more accurate in regards to the effects a high intake of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters... high being best described as one or more...we ceased to exist).
We finally returned to the Whole Kind of General Mish-Mash after the engines of my TTC had long since shut down and cooled. We walked, which is to say stumbled, or, more directly defied all laws of physics and actually fell out of the pub and came upon the unusual sight of the swimming pool.
Admittedly, the pool itself, was not a strange sight, as I was usually aware of its presence within the TARDIS.
Interesting note about pool maintenance with the confines of a Gallifreyan Time Travel Capsule: Because the inside of a TTC exists in a separate dimensional plane, and it traverses time and space, locations within a TARDIS can exist withing different eddies within time, thereby moving at a fluctuating rate of time, even within the same capsule. Those of us with pools often find it best to section the pool's water into a separate time stream, often in a recursion loop, eliminating the need for chlorination, vacuuming, or any kind of upkeep whatsoever. The only drawback to this is the fact that, should someone ever actually urinate in the water, it will cause an inter-dimensional, trans-temporal explosion which would make the "big bang" or Event One seem like a firecracker, resulting in the complete destruction and recreation of the Whole Kind of General Mish-Mash into something likely completely feral and full of evil...
Or, it may simply throw off the pH balance.
It is, however, for this reason, that what happened next was possible.
When we arrived at the swimming pool, we discovered a new passenger...
A pygmy narwhal.
I've discussed narwhals to an extent in this missive, but I have not explained the true extent of their importance or power purpose. There's a very good reason for that.
I simply don't know it.
This is not to say that I'm simply think when it comes to the matter of narwhals. On the contrary. I know at least as much as any other sentient, non-narwhal out there. What I'm trying to explain is this: narwhals are not merely a higher level of being, they are, in fact, a level of being which can be considered SO high, it would be more appropriated to call them BEENS rather than beings, as they are completely incomprehensible to any other mind in existence. In fact, so inscrutable was our new passenger, only Sabrae could communicate with it. After what seemed a lengthy telepathic conversation, Sabrae relayed the pertinent information to us.
"Okay," she began, "It seems we've been causing some...'waves' throughout time. That's what we've been aiming for... Right... so the narwhal council...Are you SERIOUS??? A narwhal COUNCIL??? That is the single STUPIDEST... Anyway, this narwhal council sent this shithead to come and keep an eye on us."
"Oi! I know we've been causing some problems, but we're on a mission here!" Skippy chimed in, "I'm sure he can..."
"No... they've sent this shithead because the LIKE the waves..."
"Ah," Lestor said, "He have a name?"
"Of COURSE he has a name. I can't pronounce it, though. And...well... He seems to like it when I call him Shithead"
