Of Autons and Tennoobs

After the Shadow Proclamation took custody of the Terrible Zodin from us, and ratified its articles to include, unfortunately, that the use of custard in battle would now be considered a war crime (though I still stand by my statement in my last entry that custard, in and of itself was used as a last resort and the residents of Clom could never have survived had we NOT covered the planet with the stuff), we were sent on our way.

To try to console Skippy in regards to the revelation of his true origins, Tristan did what Tristan did best: distraction through debauchery.

The two of them took Tristan's capsule...SOMEWHERE... but the damage cause to his navigation systems in the battle with Zodin's minions made actually determining WHERE and WHEN they were going completely impossible.

Tristan's TTC materialized on a world he'd never encountered before. It was a barren world. An orange sky blazed overhead and there was little sound save for the wind...

And faint voices in the distance...


"I am...the Doctor...Can you...Help me get...a TARDIS..."

Panic began to set in.

Tristan and Skippy immediately ran back into the TARDIS, locking the doors behind them and attempted to re-enter the vortex.

Unfortunately, an attempt to engage the time rotor was met by a sound that we have since been told by Rowan translates roughly to "Like BELGIUM I'm going back into the vortex, you unthinking BOOB! You never respected me and, just so you know, I faked all my orgasms!"

Even without a time rotor, a Gallifreyan Time Travel Capsule is still capable of more traditional, non-trans-temporal travel, and so, Tristan engaged the engines and his TARDIS shot into the sky, into safety.


And the path of a high-speed meteorite.

The meteorite smashed into the TARDIS, flipping it end over end, knocking the doors open, shaking loose a large amount of the cargo, straight out the door.

I must explain at this time that Tristan's TARDIS, being a later model, had all the bells and whistles, from a food machine and replimat to... well, actually that's about it.

Because of that, he didn't carry any food stores. His wardrobe, being deep in the bowels of his capsule was safe, as well.

Indeed, the cargo he lost when the meteorite struck was what he considered to be the most valuable things in the TTC...

Six hundred eighty seven crates of various inflatable women and sex toys tumbled out of the primary doors of his console room and onto the surface of Tennoobia, opening, scattering, their contents spilling all over the ground.

Into that pile of kink, the meteorite slammed...

And cracked open...

A terrible roar was heard as the Nestene Consciousness erupted from it and took control of the spilled (and, admittedly, well used) items of plastic, latex and poly-vinyl, which rose to attack the now advancing waves of Tennoobs.

It was at this point, Tristan's TARDIS ushered forth a sound, we're told translates to "Oh, FINE!" before suddenly dematerializing and hurtling through the vortex toward Bruce.