After arriving back at the post box disguising my TARDIS, sapphire and I entered and I set the temporal coordinates to the nearest large source of artron energy, which, of course, was Ms. Kronus' regeneration into the more known form of Sabrae from a few minutes before.
We drew in the energy and then we were off after our year long stay in Chicago (which, for the record, was MUCH longer than the 35 years we spent on Vloom Major Gamma).
We finally materialized on Vulcan at the correct trans-temporal point and the TARDIS disguised itself as a ski chalet, laughing the entire time.
Upon exiting on to the surface of the arid planet, we were greeted by a tall, dark-haired male Vulcan in a grey robe who immediately introduced himself as the bloke we were looking for.
"I am Sarek. Your coming was foretold to me by the strangest Earth mammal I've ever met. He seemed intelligent, though he was not a human and wore only the most curious head wear I've ever seen. He said his name was 'Skippy'."
This, of course, not only made our job easier, but has also saved me the trouble of trying to remember a complicated search for a single individual on an entire planet.
And so, we re-entered the TARDIS and set the coordinates back to Earth in California in 1962, just like I remembered Skippy telling me to do . This of course, was COMPLETELY off, but I didn't know that then.
During the journey, I noticed something, but didn't wish to be rude about it: Sarek had begun acting...impulsively. He was sweating quite a bit and had begun grunting. On roughly 236 occasions, he attempted to sneak up behind sapphire and lick her. I believe this made her a touch uncomfortable.
My Time Travel Capsule, apparently bored for the moment with her jokes, materialized on the corner of a street in Los Angeles in the form of a telephone booth of the proper era and locale. I believe sapphire nearly fainted at this occurrence. As soon as we opened the doors, however, Sarek sprinted out shouting "Pon-Farr...BOOBIES!!!"
I feel the need, at this time, to point out something about Vulcans, in relation to humans, or, indeed, Time Lords: The buggers are FAST!
Before we'd even had the chance to react, he was gone. Far beyond even my ability to see him.
So, I went back in the TARDIS and pieced together a few odd and ends to build a scanner to try and track our errant (and, apparently, horny) Vulcan down.
The scanning device was roughly the size of a mobile telephone from the mid 1980s on Earth, which is to say, not very inconspicuous. It was keyed into the specific bio-data for a Vulcan male and actually did a fairly good job, as it was about to triangulate his position down to about 50 square meters.
The problem was it's... unforeseen side functions.
Since it was keyed to specific racial bio-signals, it could differentiate not only a Vulcan, but a Time Lord and any race of human, as well. This, I thought, might prove useful in the future. And it likely would have, except that any time a new life form came within 20 paces of the device, it would shout out one of 100 known racial epithets for that individual's race/species. THIS caused a problem.
For nearly sixty minutes, sapphire and I run, following the signal to Sarek while trying to silence the scanner from shouting various N-words, C-words, S-words and Q-words so as to avoid confrontation with the natives of Earth.
Finally, out of breath and hearing the scanner shout "HONKY-KRAUT!", we turned and saw the other person we were looking for.... Justin Beiber.
I grabbed him and said "Have you seen a tall bloke with pointy ears around here?"
"Uhhh,... Yes.... He went into that motel," The future dictator indicated one across the street.
"Okay. I need you to come with me."
Grabbing him by the shirt collar, I dragged him across the street and into the motel, up and down the halls until I heard the disturbing sound of Sarek giggling. I kicked the door in and pulled my unwilling follower into the room with me, sapphire a few steps behind us.
There, in the room, we saw Sarek, completely naked, with a blonde woman who was clearly a prostitute. They were sitting together in a bath tub filled with what I am fairly certain was Pepto-Bismol, wearing paper sailor hats and clipping each other's toenails.
After a great deal of discussion, we managed to convince Sarek to stop what he was doing for the moment and take a few minutes to talk logic and the future with the future ruler of the galaxy, in the hopes of dissuading him from taking over. In exchange, we would keep his new found friend company in the hallway until he was done, then let her back in and take them both home when they were finished.
An hour or so later, discussions had been had, SOMETHING was done in that tub and all of us were aboard the TARDIS. Sarek's hooker friend, who initially called herself "Bambi", turned out to be a girl named Amanda and she decided to go back to Vulcan with Sarek. After dropping them off, we took Beiber back to Los Angeles in 1962.
It was only when I said "Good bye, Justin" that we found out we were mistaken.
"Ummm... my name's Eugene," he said," I'm not a musician, I'm a television writer."
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