The Laughter of Young Time Travel Capsules

Having been extricated from the vortex, I was physically a Time Lord of early adolescence, appearing to be in my mid to late 30s to the semi-sentient Terrans who believed they ran their planet. I was, in fact, 372 times older than creation, itself, but my TARDIS license says I'm 748. Regardless.

As I said, I met sapphire and her brother, Lestor. They helped me re-acclimate to the Whole Kind of General Mish-Mash.

I explained what had happened in my past (though, from a purely trans-temporal perspective, my "past" can best be explained to any other sentient or semi-sentient life-form as "You remember that time in university when you drank so much you weren't sure what year it was or planet you were on? Yeah...that was my fault.") and I told them what my mission was to be, as foretold by Skippy.

Naturally, they believed me quite mad. It was sapphire who actually named me, which I am okay with, as who WOULDN'T want to be named by an incredibly sexy blonde?

I digress.

For a few days, they continued to think me mad. It likely didn't help that I followed them about relentlessly telling them that the entirety of the secrets to the Whole Kind of General Mish-Mash was known only to the narwhals, and they had a wicked sense of humor.

No, I wasn't actually believed by them until a few days later, when they were attempting to run away from me in Lestor's TARDIS, only to find a fez-adorned kangaroo at the console. I'm not entirely certain where Skippy took them, as sapphire's always been silent about it and Lestor, when asked about the experience, has only been able to say "My GOD, it was worse than Jedward!"

When they rematerialized, they took me where I could get myself a TARDIS.

We arrived and I took my favourite: a heavily modified Type 45.

When I say took, I didn't pay for it.

TECHNICALLY, I didn't steal it, either.

I used what little influence I had left from my time merged with the vortex and pulled a temporal copy of it from a pocket dimension that was populated by nothing but identical copies of Phil Spector and pulled it into our universe.


I explained my plans to sapphire and Lestor and the two of them became the first members of the Killing Time Alliance. sapphire decided to travel with me, primarily since I caused some rather...squishy sensations for her and she had a soft spot for my way of thinking. Lestor would undertake missions on his own in his own TARDIS. Together, we'd try and spread the truth of the whole nonsense of reality to other Time Lords while trying to prevent the rise of Beiber the First.

And so, I had my first interface with the telepathic circuits of my TARDIS.


It's laughter wound up traveling through the vortex and caused an unfortunate bloke in a dressing gown on an alternate earth to have to hitch-hike off planet.