It can be said that the inside of a TARDIS that is traveling within the time vortex has no existence within time, since, it is both in another dimension and traveling through time. There is merit to this statement, although it can also be said that that peanut butter is a form of birth control. The latter statement is both wildly inaccurate and completely irrelevant to my tale.
Because time is, essentially, non-existent within the confines of a Time Travel Capsule, it is therefore completely pointless to explain how long it took to convince Tristan to put some clothes on. Allow me to simply say it took a great deal of non-time.
Finally, he was convinced to go back into his TARDIS and came back out in a loose-fitting suit, trench coat and scarf.
Skippy, in the mean time, had explained that he had met Tristan in a bar and they got to chatting. Tristan explained that he was a Time Lord and Skippy, in turn, told him the purposes of the Killing Time Alliance.
It was at this point that Tristan, now fully dressed, returned and explained the rest of the story.
Tristan, it seems, had a very strong charismatic nature, the likes of which is the exact opposite of that possessed by a Terran pig. I have since heard it said that he can talk his way into anything from the secure areas of Shada to a Talasian Nun's underpants.
Historical note: Talasian Nuns are so strict in their devotion to their vows of chastity that they are, in fact, welded into underpants made of white dwarf material. This makes talking one's way into them rather difficult. It also makes the undergarments weigh roughly 6 metric tonnes, and, as a result, Talasian Nuns generally don't participate in foot races.
After Skippy had explained the purposes of Killing Time to Tristan, the Time Lord took it upon himself to use his talents to help. First order of business, of course, was finding a base of operations that wasn't a TARDIS. While it is said that materializing a TTC withing another TTC is extremely dangerous and should only be done in extreme emergencies, this is false. The reason such materializations are TRULY discouraged is due to an early accident where Omega, on the urge to visit his old friend, materialized his TARDIS within Rassilon's.
This happened while Rassilon was wearing a feather boa, fish-net stockings and bright yellow wellies, dancing a jig and singing about "Putting the lotion in the TARDIS".
Such materializations have been discouraged ever since.
And so, Tristan, with precisely one credit to his name, entered into a game of chance called "poker".
Poker is an excersize in trying to take money from another being by means of trickery, deceit and small, pasteboard cards with number on them. Not at all as noble an endeavor as urinating on a priest.
After 4 hours of this game, Tristan had gone from one credit to being the owner of a planet.
Tristan has, to this day, never told us what the planet had been called prior to his ownership of it, but after winning it, he proceed to use his TTC to ensure all stellar charts that had or will ever be made referred to this planet as "Bruce"
And so, we sent a signal to Lestor and Qandi (which was difficult, as, in the intervening time, Lestor had procured 7 new TARDISes), and Sabrae to meet us on Bruce.
Tristan, however, had failed to actually INSPECT his winnings before offering to let us use it as a base.
Upon materialization, I opened the doors to my TARDIS and was immediately greeted by the word "EXTERMINATE!" intoned in a voice not at all reminiscent of Plascido Domingo.
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