I will save you all the tedious blathering from the Terran regarding her sudden entry into a Gallifreyan TTC about it being bigger on the inside, an amazing piece of technology and it not being at all what she expected the lower colon of a primate to look like.
Suffice to say, the conversation didn't begin till after a round of showers. And, I should point out at this time that, for all the modification made to my TARDIS prior to it being my TARDIS, you would think that SOMEONE in the grand scheme of growing a conveyance that is half the size of Gallifrey, itself, would think to put in more than two bloody shower stalls. Since sapphire and I shared one of them, that left the other to be shared by Lestor and our stow-away.
A word on our stow-away:
It seems Terrans don't always value a higher education in those who care for their animals while they are kept in tiny, environmentally inappropriate cages.
Our stow-away, after the perfunctory blathering mentioned earlier, finally came to enough of her senses to tell us her name. Understand from this point on, her name is ALWAYS spelled correctly in this missive.
Her name was Candi.
While Kandi was openly hostile when she first arrived, we did manage to convince her to shower before she attempted to destroy my console room. After three hours sharing a shower stall with Lestor, she had calmed right down.
In fact, she volunteered to go with him to "break in" a new TARDIS.
Lestor insisted on leaving Irwin with us, as he thought the flight may be too dangerous.
So I enclosed Irwin in a time bubble and put him in the boot cupboard.
Since we had already begun the unraveling of time on the hopes of preventing the rise of Beiber the Unholy, sapphire and I decided to take a side trip to Vloom Major Gamma.
There are, no doubt, many of you for whom Vloom Major Gamma is an unknown world. There is a very good reason for that.
Vloom Major Gamma is a planet that exists outside of standard space/time.What most astrophysicists call "Event 1", other call "The Big Bang". This is a misnomer. It was more of a massive cosmic conniption which resulted in several trans-temporal anomalies across the Whole Kind of General Mish-Mash. Vloom Major Gamma was the most amusing.
Vloom Major Gamma Was trapped in a pocket time stream. Well, technically, two of them.
There is an interesting time-envelope surrounding the planet of Vloom Major Gamma which causes it to exist on its own, but also, when any life form is within the time-envelope, any clothing they are wearing shifts forty seconds into the future. Additionally, the planet has one, 50 meter-wide landmass that spirals a few times around near its equator, its in a cosmostationary position between 3 suns, 473,000 miles of nothing but coastal beaches, and has no precipitation.
In essence, Vloom Major Gamma is a world of nude beaches.
And the lovely thing about arriving there with a time machine is that one can, in fact, leave on one's lunch hour, spend a month at Vloom Major Gamma, and still be back with enough time to grab a coffee.
So, for roughly 35 years, sapphire an I relaxed on the beaches of Vloom Major Gamma, though there were many strained muscles and such to be had.
After 35 years on a nude beach, we decided we'd had a lovely lunch break and decided to head back into the TARDIS to continue our mission. Of course, 35 years on a nude beach will get sand into very uncomfortable places, so we needed another shower.
The first confusing bit was the sudden existence of the third shower in the TARDIS.
The second was the fact that the shower opened to show the interiro of another Time Travel Capsule and out came Skippy, but he was not alone.
The third confusing bit was the naked bloke, dripping with water, who followed Skippy out of the new TTC.
Without any hesitation or hint of embarrassment, the naked, dripping bloke bowed slightly and said, "Hello. I'm here to help out. My name is Tristan."
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